She said what?

I never thought it significant to run your mouth and basically meddle into people’s’ businesses. I imagine people who desperately seek attention and demand to be noticed by all means to secretly admire this lifestyle. In other words the empty vessels make the most noise.
I certainly know it only takes a kind heart and some humanity to celebrate with those that are celebrating and mourn with those that are mourning. Unfortunately life does not always play out as we expect or as it should. There are monsters in humans’ skin among us that are always waiting for that moment when life will throw you a curve ball so they can hit a home run. A lot of times this is the same person that acts closest to you and seeks to know your deepest secrets.
Whatever does not break you makes you stronger, or so I have heard. Although words can hurt and cut you on the inside like a sword, it should be clear who you can trust and open up. You live and you learn.
My heart, and your heart is like a mansion guarded by vicious dogs and surrounded by high gates and you can only allow someone to enter but not without your permission. I am wearing a big invisible sign that reads; TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT, AND SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN!
Now, since still waters runs deep let the wise solve the riddle and the not so wise continue to add mileage to their buccals. In essence it is the fuel to my life that pushes and drives me to the success that I am setting forth to do. When you wear a smile on the outside while on the inside your rotten, its only a matter of minutes before that shows up to.

At the end of the storm

I long for the day the storm will calm down in my life. I must say the past 4 months have been the hardest ever in my life. I have encountered with more hardships and obstacles than I have had good moments. I was so close to quitting and say to hell with this life but I found hope and strength in God again. Even though I am still struggling and haven’t seen a light at the end of the tunnel, He is still beside me.
Part of me has forgotten what not having problems feels like anymore. Let me see when was the last time I didn’t have to worry about past due bills…? It must have been way back that I can’t even remember. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, At the beginning of August my father got ill and a little short while after, he died. I don’t remember experiencing a pain like this in the past. Upon receiving the news about my father’s death, I passed out and when I came back to my senses it was the darkest moment in my life. I felt such a void that couldn’t be replaced.
This was the only time the family was distraught all at once and the shock wave of the news transpired everywhere and phone calls of condolences started ringing back to back. While the family still mourned each member was going through personal hardships; bank accounts were over drafted, eviction notes hang by the doors, vehicles close to repossession, dropped out of school programs, family fighting with family, and having problems with the criminal justice system.
Having gone through all this and still being able to keep our heads up has been a great milestone and is on the right track to healing. I must admit it is hard to keep a positive mind after having gone through the things we have been through but nothing lasts forever. There is a time to be happy and a time to mourn. I have had both.

What strategies do you use to recuperate from various crisis?

Close your eyes, what do you see?

The mind is the most interesting thing to me. If I could I would take it out and stare at it sometimes. It’s amazing what a person could do if only they envisioned it in their minds.

I thought about writing this blog today after having a conversation with one of my friends. I loved is determination. He said he would not stop until he gets where he has dreamt of.

I realized a lot of us could be in situations where succeeding in life seems impossible. You only fail the moment you quit trying. Dream big and enlarge your vision. Give yourself a chance to live your dreams.

Surround yourself with people who are doing big things, do not be intimidated by them. They are in your life for a purpose. You should have a vision and persistence. It’s hard to imagine that things we sometimes fail to do results in our failure.

Go on and cultivate on your dreams and visions and move yourself up in an environment where you feel closer to your vision. Whenever you lay in your bed begin to see yourself in that place where you want to be.

Pave that way to your dream and don’t give up until you get there. The moment you begin to dream, your life begins to take up the shape of your dream. That is how it is supposed to be.

If you can dream it, you can do it. The closest you could get to your vision is through your dreams. Do not be afraid to dream, dream big and believe.

What do you do to get close to your vision?

Down memory lane


Memories are made of these. The many lives of people that you have positively affected as you live your own.

Looking back to the many lives that I have touched fills my heart with such an immense feeling of triumph. Above all, my heart seeks to affect lives positvely. I intend to leave a mark wherever I go.

As I look back at the many lives that I have touched and likewise the many lives that have touched mines, my heart sinks in abundant peace. Yet my heart still aches at the fact that I have not had any real contact with the people that I once cared for and will never stop to care.

Truly, our past is a big part of who we are. I am still very connected at heart to friends and family that I grew up with. The love that we shared, and the bond that we had will truly remain. The struggles that I have been through have made me into the man that I am.

Memories made of fun times and filled with laughter and enjoyment. Some are made of times when I had hit rock bottom and never thought I would ever come back up. Some are sad. I appreciate each one of them as they are a huge part who I am.

Every little thing that I have learned to this point and every last one of the individuals that I have met and changed my life will forever be cherished. Each one of those will forever live in me.

What have you come across lately that brought back old memories?

By hisflyness1 Posted in life

Word of encouragement


The other day I was listening to a motivational speaker and his message encouraged me so much that I was dying to share it with my dear bloggers.

The message was clear and straight to the point. What really pulled me into it was how he went on to give his own life experiences that I could relate to.

The speaker mainly discussed the fact that we are all humans and bound to fall short of what could be termed as right or lawful. Finally he spoke about success and the hardships that preceded it.

You would think it makes sense to quit when things get harder or unbearable. I urge you to stick your head and stand your grounds at a time such as this. This is when your character is being tested and built.

Take for instance a seed. If you threw a seed on the concrete, then come a few months down the line the seed will be dried up. Well, if you dug a hole into the soil and buried the seed and came back a few months later you would see something beginning to sprout out.

The dirt that surrounds the seed in order for it to grow into a beautiful tree and bear fruits eventually is likened to the hardships of life. You will always have people around you that wish you the worst of life, others will spread false rumors about you, and even falsely accuse you.

Do not give up yet. While they are talking about you, they are spreading manure around you, they are pouring water around you, and eventually you realize that you have built a character that does not care about what others may think of you.

If you are almost giving up on your goals because the road seems to get harder and harder each time, it is then when the seed is making its way through the soil. It is then when it is breaking the ground and finally appearing above the soil.

Therefore do not mind the dirt around you, do not mind the hardships, do not mind the haters because they are there to make you better.

Feel free to share moments that have encouraged you to keep going.

The silent language

How amazing is the attraction between humans? Am not only talking about sexual attraction but on a broad spectrum including just a friendly one. It seems like there is an unspoken language that transpires when two humans meet or walk past each other in the hallways, malls, even outside in the streets. Bonds may root up just like that and a serious friendship is begotten.

While shopping at the stores minding my own business like I usually do, I came across a guy that seemed pretty familiar. He looked back at me with a look that said he might have known me from another world. Even without the exchange of words, you realize an ample amount of communication going on. This same notion appears to be taking place in animals as well. I get carried away staring at dogs as they go about their normal routines. They do somethings in an orderly manner and this just leaves me extremely interesred in learning this silent language.

As I went on with my shopping, my eyes automatically locked up with the familiar looking guy again. I was not following him and neither was he following me, or so I hope. But there is an electrical impulse that seems to be taking place within you if you pay close attention to your body, when an attraction is occuring. It also seems like it starts with the eyes. Truly the eyes are the doors to your heart. Nevertheless, humans like to have their guards up at all times anticipating harm from other humans. Instead of one of us approaching the other, we ignore this electrical current that has been so obvious. Finally I decided to take the initial step and say hey. I thank God I did because if I hadn’t I would have lost a chance that would probably never come back again. This man happened to be a very close friend of the family that lived with us many years ago. How we all came to be at the same place, at the same time is still a mystery to me. It might all have been a dream.

I intend to follow my intuitions more and and just take a minute out of my time to recognize another human being. You never know; you might be saying hi to the person that will be solving a lot of your problems or even your future spouse. We are all sailing together in this ship called earth and we need each other in order to float.

Why are human connections so important?

Good people making bad choices

It pains me to see a lot of young people slowly but gradually destroying themselves. I believe somewhere in their hearts lives a totally different person from the men they depict. It’s only unfortunate. Once upon a time I stood on the other side of the fence and at that time thought it was a “cool” thing. If it hurts your reputation it’s probably not cool. And that’s what I did to myself, that’s what a lot of these young folks are doing to themselves.

For a very long time I was attracted to the tough and mean look that I saw in other guys. It felt like the right thing to do especially since women seemed to adore those type of guys. I transformed myself into this monster that became unstoppable. I was living on the fast lane. I took a completely different personality and began falling in love with it. When I was in the midst of friends I received praises. They loved the person I had become. I felt accepted and had no intentions of going back to my old, boring, and mellow self.

I made sure I had alcoholic drinks in my refrigerator. I immediately replaced beer with hard liquor, and tried recreational drugs. I never dreamt doing anything unclean or what my parents would consider worthy of punishment. Here I was deviating from the ways that I was brought. I loved the attention it brought. I had to think of other ways to get more attention, and the immediate decision was to woo as many girls as I could. The more girls I had under my command the more popular I became. The next step was to get “tatted up”. I walked into a tattoo shop and got my first tattoo. I was at a place that felt comfortable. If I took a step outside of me and looked at the person I had become I would have failed to recognize myself.

What most young people fail to recognize is that all the things we do out of the thrill of it will eventually come back and bite us. I am thankful to the people who stayed positive and true and helped me from straying too far away from sanity. Had I made the right choices I would never had fallen short of the law. Once bitten twice shy, but some people will just not learn. A lot of young people standing outside the court doors awaiting trials seem to be wishing they hadn’t made the mistakes they are paying for. While it is sad that such things would happen to good people, it is also a person’s initiative to become the person that you initially was at the day you were born.

What’s your take on this topic?

Live it up

What happens when everything just seems to stop? It is scary when you are not where you want to be in life when you had desperately anticipated.
We all have goals, and they are fine. Goals I think are like a map that gives direction in the journey of life. They tend to motivate you to work towards an achievement. I look up to so many people who have achieved their dreams and goals because they challenge me. A good challenge is positively correct and you can never go wrong with that.
It took me a bit longer than I should have to figure this down and as I look back I tend to get mad at myself and life. A lot of young guys of my age are living it out. Homes, dream cars, careers, families, and so much more. A few years ago I made my goals and started targeting one at a time. Although I am not where I wanted to be, I have not given up. In fact it makes me want to work even harder. Like a time bomb, time seems to just tick away.
In order for me to quit pushing myself beyond my limits and hurting myself and my ego, I decided to take a different route. It is only a detour but I am headed for the same goals. Although I might get there at the same time, I will be safer and happier than if I had continued down the same road. Life is meant to be enjoyed and at the same time appreciated. Every minute we live should be very miraculous and I do awe each of those seconds. I learn to take in deep breaths and relax a bit more. At one point of time, I would forget to eat because I was too focused on the goals to even realize I was hungry. I forgot I had another life outside of work and school. But learning to have the inner peace and loving and caring for who I am made a big difference. Exercising has helped me relieve a lot of day’s stress. I begin to look at myself in the mirror and admire the person that I have become, that I had stopped caring about. The only thing that I have to remember is that I have one life to live and deserves the best but I will work smart and not extremely hard to get where I want to be. Organizing my time diligently and getting things done on time so I don’t run over deadlines and soon begin to beat myself up again has had to come to a stop.
With the right support and the right gear, I am set to tackle my journey a step at a time until I get to the mountain top, I shall not quit.

How do you keep your sanity and still manage to achieve your goals?

Smile at life

Seemingly everybody seems to be on the go rushing to do something or go somewhere. The earth is on wheels. Children are growing up fast and leaving the nest, people we look up to are growing old and leaving the stage for the younger ones, and the older folks are dying out. Now just a glimpse of things going on around us is all we can catch. We no longer have the good one on one conversations, the walks in the park, and oh what happened to the good old smelling of roses? Time is ticking off faster than it used to. Where is all the time going?
Certainly death is the most ultimate and inescapable punishment to all human beings. Nobody knows the day or the hour when they shall lie down, cold and still. Nobody is invincible.
The little time running out like the grains of sand in an hour-glass is crucial. Show me the man who could command time to stop and I will show the man who has lived for 1,000 years. Suddenly the room is quiet. How much value do you hold in money whereas how much in healthy human relationships. Who cares if your casket is made of gold or you are buried bank safe? You might not even realize it. The fact is we return to dust. But if you touched the lives of people, you live forever in them.
Look at that tree by the river, the way it flourishes. It lacks no water and its roots runs deep into the soil. Who are your counsel? Words that offer me a support in times of distress and trouble comes from the healthy relationships that I have built, so I may be like the tree by the river. Do something good today for a stranger and give them something to hope for. Yes the world has become so antisocial that people hardly speak to other people. I just need the assurance that the world is still a friendly and safe place to live in despite the fact that everybody is chasing the American dream.

What are the things you could do to appreciate life?

My short biography


Every hour we live brings us closer to our goals, every minute we breathe brings us closer to our death, and every second we live is a chance to become a better person. We are humans, we are bound to make mistakes. I have messed up so many times that I can’t keep count but each time I do I learn quickly and move on up.

I look back at where I came from and every time I do I never fail to tear down. Tears of joy and not sorrow. Who knew that on this date I would be where I am at now? I dreamt of it, I had prayed over it, but it just never occurred to me that it would have happened anytime sooner than it did. It’s like there’s someone who has my life laid out and I am just acting the role.

Born in the mid 80s to a middle class family, and raised partly somewhere in the Congo and then in Kenya, life was good. I had 5 elder brothers that loved each other but also had conflicts with one another like every family does; but the bond we had with each other was solid. It goes on to this date even though we are grown and living separately.

I was a happy-go-lucky young man. I made a lot of friends, I cried, I played, I laughed, and I was torn apart. Sometimes I think if we knew what was to come ahead then life wouldn’t be as interesting. It is more exciting to watch your life unfold before your eyes. As many families would, ours went through some hardships and eventually broke up. My father went through a mid-life crisis or call it quarter life crisis and caused the family a lot of turmoil. Two of my brothers got lucky and moved to overseas. As the financial situation got strenuous they would greatly help us back home. At some point our education got interrupted now and then because we could not afford the tuition and we would be on and off school. My father, the bread-winner stopped caring. My mother had to go out of her way and become the bread-winner to the youngest children left at home; my kid sister, my brother, and I. The love of a mother runs deeper than the ocean. I watched my mother beat herself up to feed us and send us back to school. She technically died so we could live. I love her to death. The financial situation got so bad that finally we lost our house and my father took off. We were on the streets. Life became so bitter that death almost tasted sweet. I considered suicide at one point but thought of how much it would affect my mother; how selfish of me. We were not in the streets for a long time; different families picked us up and again our family got smaller. My mother kept working hard to bring us home and eventually she managed.

We were living in our small apartment and skipping some meals but the joy of having each other was satisfactory. After completing high school I started to hustle and help my mother out a bit. My big break came when I landed a sitcom role on national tv. It was a great experience, and the money was good too. In 2006 a call from one of my elder brothers brightened my mother’s world and ours too. It was a call to leave behind all our miseries and go have a better life. It was with such joy that we left our home country to come live in America but a piece of my heart (my brother) was left. Life has been great, we have each made great achievements individually and are still continuing to make ourselves better.

Who do you have to thank in your life for where you are today?